I Broke My Funny Bone

I broke my funny bone and it wasn’t funny. In fact it was one of the most painful experiences of my life (granted I’ve never given birth). But now it’s just an annoying pain that I have to live with.

It all began on Saturday. I was relaxing at Spa Castle which is an oasis in the middle of Queens with lots of saunas, hot tubs, and whirlpools. I was making my way to a whirlpool after having an incredible sushi lunch when I slipped and fell on some wet towels and came slamming down on my elbow on the hard tile floor. I was in so much pain I couldn’t speak, cry, do anything but writhe around on the floor clutching my elbow. The pain is so great it just shocks your entire body. So imagine hitting your funny bone but times 100.

Once I pulled myself together I thought this is going to swell but I can move my arm so it’s not broken. I’ve spent $45 to be here, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my day at Spa Castle. That night when I got home I took some advil and kept icing my arm. All day Sunday I kept my are iced. I had a steady rotation of ice packs. The swelling wasn’t ridiculous, my elbow was not a normal color, but that is expected with any bruise.

I went to work Monday and I was fine but Tuesday it was like I had fallen all over again. My elbow was swollen, the discoloration was not natural, I had to seek medical attention. So Tuesday afternoon I saw my doctor and of course he ordered an x-ray. But he also thought it had gotten infected so he gave me a tetanus shot. My arm still hurts from the tetanus shot.  I get the x-rays done and he says he will call me in the morning.

Wednesday morning the doctor calls and says I should get a sling, immediately, to help alleviate some of the stress. The x-ray showed a fracture (that means broken bone) and he was sending me to a specialist ASAP. Because elbows are funny (really they aren’t that funny) there was a chance I might need to have surgery in order for it to heal properly. OMG…I’ve had surgery before and I’m not feeling the complications or that it might cause me to not be able to work. Anything that would affect my ability to type was a problem.

Thursday morning I go and see the specialist. He read the radiology report that said I had a fracture. He walks up to me and reaches for my arm but instead of going for the elbow he goes for another bone. He holds my arm and squeezes it. Does this hurt, he asked. I said NO and looked at him like he was stupid. That’s not my elbow. He said, I know that’s not your elbow but the x-ray actually showed that it is this bone that is fractured not your elbow. So if this pressure I’m applying to this area does not hurt, you do not have a broken bone. You do have tennis elbow, but I think you already knew that. (I did, but I have tennis elbow from computer usage, not from actually playing tennis).

At this point I’m perplexed. What about my elbow? His response, you had a bad fall, it is badly bruised but it is not broken. So get rid of that sling, keep taking ibuprofen and icing it but otherwise there is nothing that can be done to speed up the recovery. It is your dominate arm, you use it regularly. Every day, by the end of the day, it will probably swell up so when you aren’t working you need to rest it.

So on one hand I am happy, I totally dodged a bullet. No surgery. On the other hand my elbow still hurts and it looks disgusting. Imagine hitting your funny bone and that sensation never going away. That is how I feel. But after 5 days of this it’s more annoying than painful because I’ve gotten used to the constant “hit your funny bone” sensation.

Morale of the story: Hurting your funny bone is not funny. So be careful this weekend as you enjoy the holiday break.